GD Kagome
by Roberto Blanco
Summary: OK so I wrote a Crack!Fic! about Inuyasha this time. It has a plot and everything. sort of. a one shot.


"God damn Kagome," Grumbled Inuyasha under his breath while sitting in a tree, picking dirt from under his toenails with Tessaiga. "Why the hell is she always telling me to sit anyway?! Pfft." He closed his eyes and went back to cleaning his nails.

Across the yard, Shippo was looking at Inuyasha while talking to Kagome. "Gee Kagome, Inuyasha sure looks mad…"

Kagome huffed, "Hmpf! Serves him right. He can stay mad as long as he wants, I don't care!"

Miroku looked out from the Inn they were staying at. "Hmm? What's all this about?"

"Same as usual," said Shippo. "Kagome 'sat' Inuyasha when Kikyo came by last."

"Ah. Young love between a man and two women, it reminds me of last spring…" Just then Sango came by and pummeled Miroku over the head with Hiraikotsu.

"Serves _him _right too," said Kagome quietly with her eyes shut. "Come on, Shippo!" Kagome said loudly as she walked off after Sango.

The girl and the little fox demon walked down the trail to the hot spring. "A lovely day for a bath," Kagome said.

"Uh huh," agreed Shippo.

Sango was already bathing when the others joined her. "What's with that creep anyway?!" questioned Sango, her face red.

"I know. Inuyasha's being a real jerk too!" Kagome cried out.

Shippo's tiny pecker waved ever so slightly in the breeze. "Hey guys!" he called out, "Is it getting dark?!"

Kirara growled and her fur stood on end. "What is it, Kirara?" Sango looked concerned.

Miroku was talking to Inuyasha while the girls had gone but stopped when it began to get dark.

Inuyasha expositioned, "Hey it's getting dark!"

Miroku noted, "I sense it too."

Just then Inuyasha heard Kagome scream. "KAGOME!" He yelled as he drew Tessaiga and sprang from the tree and ran to the hot spring. Miroku quickly followed.

Inuyasha and Miroku came upon a tentacled Naraku holding a naked Sango and Kagome in the air. "Let her go ya' dumb Baboon!" Inuyasha shouted.

Miroku blushed. "Oh my, this is no time for this… I must be strong."

"Goddammit Miroku," Inuyasha mumbled. "Damn! I can't use my Wind Scar, I'll hurt Kagome."

"Right, and I can't use my wind tunnel either because I would suck up the girls, those jewel shards and those poison bees…"

Miroku was interrupted by Sango, "They're wasps!"

"Whatever, Fuck this shit. **IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER**!" Inuyasha screamed as he hurled himself at Naraku slicing his tentacles to bits and freeing the girls. "Damn. It was another stupid puppet," Inuyasha growled.

Miroku went over to Sango. "Are you alright?" and grabbed her tit. Sango kicked him in the sacred jewels. "I'll find your clothes," Miroku squeaked.

Just then Koga came by in a whirlwind. "Hey dog-hole! What the hell happened! Did you rape Kagome? I'll kill you! You Bastard!"

Inuyasha was furious. "Why you! I outta! Arrrrr… I just saved her ya' dumb ass mangy wolf!"

They were at each others throats as usual. Kagome got dressed and went over to them. "Calm down."

Instantly, Koga was cool as a cucumber. "Hey I'm just glad you're safe is all, babe. Catch you later!" Koga winked as he ran off in a whirlwind again.

"Man! That guy really chaps my ass!" Inuyasha shouted.

Sango said, "Now that we are all settled… Where are Kirara and Shippo?"

Kagome noticed too, "Hmm. I don't know. I didn't see what happened to them when Naraku's puppet grabbed us."

"Well Shit." Inuyasha said.

"Let's fan and search around these woods here," Miroku said.

Everyone agreed and started calling out for the two demons as they searched the nearby woods. Kagome thought she heard Kirara meow and headed to a clearing.

After a bit of searching Kagome called out, "Hey everyone! Over here!"

Kagome had found a mysterious hole nearly the size of her own well-portal to the 21st century.

"Do you think they could have fallen in this hole?" Kagome asked.

Sango thought they could have been knocked clear by Naraku's puppet into the hole. "Perhaps," Sango said.

"Well what're we waiting for, let's charge blindly into it! AHHHHHH!" Screamed Inuyasha, as he leapt into the Portal. Just then the Portal sealed.

Miroku groaned. "Great."

Kagome sighed.

Sango muttered. "Idiot."

Jaken appeared and returned Shippo and Kirara. "Ha Ha Ha! You _fools_! Master and I were just walking by when I saw that weakling Naraku! I took Kirara and Shippo in the confusion and lured you to this Portal knowing that the brute would fall for my trap and I would be able to steal the Tessaiga! Now, taste the fury of the Staff of Two Heads!" Jaken turned and blew fire at the group as he leapt into the Portal.

Try as they may the team was unable to break the magic barrier. So they all went back to the Inn to have tea.

Sesshomaru just happened to be walking by with Rin and A-Un by the Inn and Kagome ran out to him. "Sesshomaru!" Kagome yelled. "Sesshomaru, hey stop I want to talk to you! Hey! Jaken has Inuyasha in some dimension and is trying to steal Tessaiga!" Sesshomaru almost paused and almost looked at her, but instead kept walking. "Hey aren't cha going to say anything!?"

"Good," Sesshomaru said.

"WHAT!? Good!? That's it!" Kagome screamed furiously.

Sesshomaru kept walking. Rin waved and said "Bye!" smiling with her eyes shut.

Kagome stamped off, her face beet-red. "The nerve of that guy! Ugh!"

Shippo tried consoling Kagome. "That's just Sesshomaru, Kagome. Don't let him bother you."

"Well, I hope Inuyasha's okay…" Kagome said.

Back inside the portal, Inuyasha was hacking away at all manner of demons. "**WIND SCAR**!" He slashed through a hundred demons.

All the demons were slaughtered and Inuyasha was alone in a black void with Jaken. "Hey, it's you! Yeah you! Your stupid little plan didn't work!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Oh my look at the time! I must be going now! Where is Lord Sesshomaru!?" Jaken waved his staff and took off. Inuyasha was also teleported by outside the portal a la dues-ex-machina style.

"Dammit." He sheathed Tessaiga and walked back to the Inn.

"INUYASHA!" Kagome yelled. "Inuyasha you're ok!"

"Yeah yeah. Of course I am," Inuyasha said. "Those weak demons were nothin' to me!"

Just then Kagome said "SIT BOY!"

"What the hell'd you do that for!?" Inuyasha screamed.

- Fin -


End file.
